Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
