she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
