hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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