Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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