What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
