So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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