Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
