Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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