On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
