im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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