How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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