im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
