the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
