the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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