You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
