After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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