If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
