He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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