my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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