jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize