I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
