Grow some girl-balls and come out already
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
