bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
