I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
