I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
