Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
His nipple licking is glorious
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