Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize