So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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