R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
