Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
