I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
