If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
