she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
and you fell through a lawn chair
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
