I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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