We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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