You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
