I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
