Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
