they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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