Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
