Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
