i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
