Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
