I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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