ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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