You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
