1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
