True but thats because hes a fetus.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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