so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
