I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Let's paint friendship bongs
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
