Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
