worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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