dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize