what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize