Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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