Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
