I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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