I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
