there's paper in my vomit.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
