brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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