i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
