I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
