similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
