And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize