awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize