I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
