he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
