Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
