After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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