I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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