i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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